#and also i don't really care about those level things because it's a misleading look into their lives.

[clowndensation]

x do u understand my vision.

[cyanrendipity]

OP here hello, reblogging this on my sideblog cause maybe I've been going on about it for too long

Just wanted to respond to some points cause while it is subjective "dark" when it comes to stories usually have implications I just don't see on Dungeon Meshi and might make someone that enjoys Darker themes to be disapointed if they were sold on a Dark story and then presented dungeon meshi.

However, getting there involved a lot of very grim stuff, and the setting of Dungeon Meshi isn't presented as a happy place where everything is okay and all conflict is low-stakes.

The setting is very "grounded" it's true! Reality is full of grim things and Dungeon Meshi isn't really escapism like some Slice of Life anime tend to be. But dealing with "uncomfortable" subject's isn't really dark, I wouldn't call pixar movies dark just because they deal with loss or more uncomfortable subjects, to me the framing of those aspects indicates the theme better than the actual subject.

The realism in Dungeon Meshi isn't fatalistic, while it's not a happy place they constantly look to the bright side of the situations, they falter but they get up again with renewed energy. A darker show would probably follow something like what Toshiro was going thru, not eating and suffering because his loved one was taken, sacrificing his own comfort and ignoring his party members because reality is dirty and cruel and took Falin from him. Dungeon Meshi completely shuts down that type of thinking, you must love and take care of yourself first so you can love and take care of others.

To me it's especially hopeful and bright exactly because it shows that even when things seem bad there is hope. Dealing with bad things is part of life a happy world isnt one where everything goes well.

Also, one of the main themes of the whole work is about how to exist in the world is, inevitably, to do harm and to be harmed. We all eat and we all are eaten.

It is! Eating is the privilege of the living, but I don't think there's even a hint of a reading where this is dark? Senshi's party all died so he could live, what he did with the life that was given to him? Instead of living in suffering he tried to live fully to honor his teammates. Laios says he's finally willing to take something and have something taken from him, it's the willingness to live fully without fear for the people he loves.

Dungeon Meshi is a complicated story about a complicated world, and it is very direct and unflinching about that. Is that dark? Well, people do not agree on that! Some say yes because it includes difficult themes and painful emotions, and does not minimise their impact. Some say no because it is not a tragedy.

Some people say anything is dark just because it's not escapism but I just think that's misleading, if someone told me "bluey is darker than you think" because they imply miscarriage I'd be severely disappointed that it was just a children's show with complex subjects. Reality isn't dark, sadness isn't dark, there's no need to be afraid of real life issues or to make them sound like something "dark" just because they're uncomfortable.

I feel like the blood and "gore" in dungeon meshi might be part of why people think it's dark and that's the part where I can't really say anything, while from the start there is blood and guts perhaps people were more shocked when it became about human blood and guts but as dungeon meshi goes we're all animals and part of the circle of life.

"Dungeon Meshi more complex than you think" "Deeper than you think" "More uncomfortable than you think" would all have made sense, saying it's dark makes me think it's gonna be game of thrones level of uncomfortable hopelessness not The Lion King circle of life level of drama.

I guess my biggest issue with calling it dark is disappointing people by promising them Dungeon Meshi is something it isn't and convincing them to engage with it on a misleading premises

Will never not be confused by these types of statements.

Dark? Dungeon Meshi? Fucking blood spatter effect???

Feels like some people imply dungeon meshi is like madoka and switches mood but I never felt it, even as it gets to more complex and maybe "darker" subjects it continues to be a comedy about eating monsters in a dungeon.

Idk I just feel like it had a gradual ramping up in themes but it never "shifts" or stops being what it is, one thing that baffled me the most was people saying they expected the second opening to be darker

[astersofthesky]

I decided to reread the MHA LN Chapter 4, you know, the canon bkdk angsty slow-burn fanfic 😌😌 Spreading the BKDK LN agenda because WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS MORE !!

Anyway, I FOUND ANOTHER TRANSLATION but sadly OP haven't finished it yet 😢

And since I need an emotional outlet so I can scream at how they're so canon, Im'ma do it here ahwjdhfjsh 👀✨

Warning: Long post; potential manga spoilers

– I forgot that this chapter literally started with the angst 😭 Deku saying that he can't imagine having lunch with Kacchan is like a pain in the gut. He just wanna be friends with his Kacchan again 😢

– One word, ✨SOULMATES ✨ afshshahah PLS, even the universe can't help but ship them together 😩✋ they're fruityness is on whole a new level I CAN'T 💚🧡

– I see what you're doing Bakugou 👀 You really can't leave your sweet broccoli behind huh?? Also, crybaby Macchan and aggressive Takkun?? 🤔 Do I need to say more? 🧐

– If that's not flirting then idk what is 🤷 also, "In front of my soba? Really?" (Todoroki, probably)

– There's no ss but I just wanna give a special mention to jealous!Bakugou. No cos srsly, implying you're not friends with Deku as if you're not dying to hold his hand then getting irritated over Todoroki claiming the "friend" card 😩 Just, Bakugou, don't @ me ☺️💢

– The angst had reached full force it seems ಥ‿ಥ The line was cut but it actually says "Not friends, just childhood friends" 😭😭 and I am telling you Im'ma throw my brand new book when Bakugou explicitly acknowledges Midoriya as his boyfriend. Because before they were rivals, Bakugou and Midoriya were first friends. And I'm not saying that they aren't one now because we as readers, can definitely see they care for each other. But the question is, do they already see the other as a friend and not just a mere rival? They don't cos they're boyfriends your honor

– Tbh, It still haven't sinked in that this is kind of canon 🤧 This is such a cliched romantic scene like wtf?? So what's next? The full moon is illuminating half of Bakugou's face, red eyes glowing and face soft from the natural white luminescence or something sappy like that?? 😩😩 I love it

– Izuku in this LN chapter whenever he talks about Bkg: ✨ THEIR RELATIONSHIP ✨

– I know, I get it. You don't have to shove it my face every single time Deku 😌 and pls, why are you still flirting at the middle of the night?? Or was it pining that I see 🤔 i mean comparing each other to their kid parallels 😕 hmm a severe case of mutual pining indeed

– Yes yes, of course you're only looking for food stalls Mr. Bakugou "Tsundere" Katsuki, I completely don't believe that you're worried about the kids. No! of course not! Who says you want the kids to reconcile so they wouldn't experience the pain that you and a certain green had gone through?? Hahaha I mean It's not like they're your parallel what??hmmm no no, go on, look for takoyaki or smthn ☺️☺️

– Wait, did the last part say '"Bakugou grabbed Izuku's face and pushed it away..." Aksfksjdhdisjs what in the actual gay fanfic is this??!! Or wait, is this what Bkg usually do to Deku in the official art he's like, I love agressively gripping your head as I entangle my fingers on your soft curls but no homo💀

Since OP's translation isn't complete, I'm going to use Lau Ren's translation and yes I'm continuing this shit even though Tumblr mobile only lets me post 10 pics per post

– Bkdk domesticity with children pt. 95736 💚🧡 They love kids so much 😩 Yk I'd donate my kidney just to see this ANIMATED ✨ like this has so much fluff potential 🤧 Or at the very least a drama CD. I'd ascend 😭

– WHAT THE FUDGE ?!! I'M SCREAMING 😭 I SAY IT AGAIN 💞 SOULMATES✨ and pls, it has my favorite fic trope, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings. Anyway, I need a minute to collect myself cos I can't move past the "With the said person himself nearby, Kacchan thought his fate had gone crazy" ( ≧Д≦) dammit Katsuki, why r u so gay. Izuku loves you, you emotionally constipated gremlin

I have reached my 10 picture limit so I'm just gonna copy paste some of the twts 💀 I hope I don't get in trouble lmao Xd

- Kacchan fixed his gaze to Deku who looked relieved. "He..."

- Somehow, Kacchan remembered the fight they had after All Might's retirement. It was the first time they were able to let out their conflicts sincerely. Although his fear towards Deku had decreased since then, there was still a feeling of disgust about Deku being a hero who save others residing in Kacchan.

- He couldn't understand it. But he knew, there will always a being whom he cannot understand

– Bkg rlly said 👀 on Deku while having angsty thoughts ಥ╭╮ಥ Looking back on this tho, I just can't help but be proud when I remember 285. Bakugou is loud but he is very rational in battles. He thinks of a plan on the spot meaning he's mind is on work 24/7.

– When he had his "My body just moved on its own" moment, Katsuki had understood Deku and his nature to "Save to Win." It'ss that Katsuki must not analyze it with his brain, but instead feel it with his heart 💚🧡 And this is the reason why I badly want to see him on the manga 😭 that was some MAJOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'm ahwjdhfjsh

– Takkun and Maachan's pinky swear deserves their own mention. They're so pure 😩✋

- He said he still hasn't done hatsumoude so Kacchan can go first, but Kacchan refused and wouldn't let Deku do hatsumoude before him.

- Kacchan tried to take a head start, but in the end, they ended up visiting and praying together.

– AND WE'RE BACK with the gays 😌 hsjdjajs they compete with every single thing it's honestly cute. Also YES THEY PRAYED TOGETHER and shoujo scenes with the main couple praying on the shrine but make it BKDK flashed before my eyes 😖✨

- After finishing their prayers, Deku looked at Kacchan, "What did you wish for?" "Shut up."

- Even with Kacchan's sulking expression seen from the side, Deku felt that they had wished for the same thing.

– DEKU YOU'RE BEING TOO LOUD!! I just can't with these two 😩✋ Both of them are down so bad for each other and you can't tell me otherwise 💚✨🧡

- With those serious eyes, Deku knew they were aiming for the same thing. Win to save, save to win. To be the best heroes.

- Deku knew well that he and Kacchan are polar opposites. But even so, Deku couldn't imagine a world in which Kacchan doesn't exist.

– Deku just went 😍 on Kacchan and thought "I CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU 🧡💚" (insert Imagine by Ben Platt)

– I can't even stress how much I love this line, y'all this is so misleading I-- this is too much 😭 Anyway, I believe this go both ways. Bakugou can't also see a world without Deku in it, and since Deku decided to be the self-sacrificing person he is, I'll just SCREAM IN CH. 304 ( ≧Д≦)

- Seeing the two praying side by side, he commented, "so you've become good friends now, huh."

- Both of them immediately opposed, and Kacchan threatened to explode Shoto's mouth for saying such a disgusting thing.

– Let's go Todoroki, best wingman 🤣 And flustered Bakugou makes a reappearance hdjsja Dammit half n' half I ain't flirting with Deku fvck you

And this is where it ends afshshaha anyway bkdk canon 💚🧡

[lilacandladybugs]

I personally am not religious at all but I've always tried my best to respect those who are and I think it's pretty lovely that you have something like that to help you feel safe and comfortable!

I hope this doesn't come across as demeaning but, I kinda find it interesting?? to have that sort of blind faith and belief is just interesting and kind of neat to me I suppose

I don't understand but I'm happy that you have something like that to keep you up in trying times :]

I'm glad that you feel that way! Also I'm not offended lmao you guys are all really friendly and I don't think you want to offend me so I will always take it that way. I am going to clarify something but I'm pretty sure this isn't what you mean so just for passersby~

Blind faith in anon's words i think means like belief in something that I can't see, which is valid, but some people use it to mean faith beyond reason so I'm going to briefly walk you through some thought process so you know that I didn’t just randomly choose this lol

I think the real reason I believe in God is this realization that we all to some extent believe in something, have faith in something. Even if you are agnostic, people still have to choose how they actively live their lives. Agnostics usually end up functioning as atheists, they don't know who God is, and so they function like he doesn't exist.

So we all at some point end up betting our lives on some belief system. We bet our present life, and any potential future life, on what we think we can understand right now. We bet our lives that God doesn't exist, or we bet our lives that he does. And even if someone chooses not to think about it, they're betting their lives that it isn't important.

We also all have to have a level of blind faith (imo), we believe that we can think, we believe that goodness or badness exists. We believe that reason exists, we believe in logic, in science, in our senses. Faith is just an assumption that something is true, and you can’t use logic to prove that logic is valid, so at some point you have to take it on faith. All premises are at some level an act of faith.

So then the question becomes, since I can’t know anything 100% certainly but I literally have to choose something, what do I choose? What seems most likely?

To me, it seems more likely that God aligned the stars and placed the Earth precisely where it is than that it happened by chance. It seems more likely that information came from an informant than that it came from no where, and it seems more likely that life came from a source than that life came from death. 

It seems more likely to me that Jesus was who he said he was than that he was just a good person, because good people don’t lie, they don’t mislead entire populations to bet their lives on a lie. But Jesus claimed to be God and he seemed like a good man. It seems more likely to me that the Bible was the word of God than that it was able to be constructed over thousands of years by people who never knew each other in three different languages and still survived thousands of years.

And the one that hits the most is that I think it is more likely that people matter than that they don’t. It’s more likely in my mind that morality exists than that it doesn’t, and if it does exist it must have been defined by someone outside of ourselves, thus making it more likely to be God.

Here is an excerpt I wrote from this post, that explains a little bit more:

Nietzsche, Kant, and Epictetus are all similar in that i have the same issue with all of them. They all want to put the anchor of meaning within the individual human. But i swear to god when i say that i want to hug my brother again i dont just mean i want to hug a person, i mean that i miss that person, that there was something that was valuable about him not just to me but that was valuable to the entire universe, and that when he died that piece of the universe was lost. epictetus’ argument was that human beings are simply mortal beings, and so grieving them is an unreasonable reaction to that fact of reality - we are all going to die, so why get attached to people like they’re immortal?

Which raises the question for me, why do we grieve like we’re meant to be immortal? Why is it that the world trembles under the crushing weight of death? That even birds miss their mates when they die, that elephants linger by the graves of their ancestors, that dogs continue to look for their masters once they’ve passed? Are we, like epictetus nietzsche and kant too, are we the only possible anchor for meaning? Do things in and of themselves mean nothing except in relation to us, so we can’t say, “death is bad,” but only, “death is bad to me”? it just doesn’t seem true

That’s who I’ve come to understand God to be. Things are complex and full of logic and information and cohesion, because when God spoke the universes into existence he planned it out carefully and tenderly. Things want to be loved and cared for and valued because God is triune, he exists as one God with three persons, loving one another for all of existence, and creating life to share in that eternal love with them. Human beings grieve one another’s deaths like we aren’t meant to die because we weren’t meant to die, death was a natural result of our decision to part ways with the giver of life, and leaving him meant that we die, and it isn’t how it’s meant to be, it’s one of the greatest tragedies to ever occur. When my brother died it felt like the universe lost something that was intrinsically valuable, not just to me, because my brother was created for a purpose by our creator, and his meaning is anchored not in my human flesh that will pass away but in the very foundation of our known universe, in the character of who God is.

--

Anyway if you’re interested I can send you some philosophy and history behind why I believe what I believe, it for sure wasn’t developed out of no where I’ve spent years questioning it and thinking about it. But most people don’t want to read that much so if you want more you can hmu in messages or send another ask idk XD 

Thanks anon! Sorry for hijacking your ask I know you aren’t that interested lol

[wei-meddling-wuxian]

I went to respond but turns out I'm blocked but since I already wrote it out, I thought I'd post it anyways.

Before I begin, for some reason ya'll think I can force you to do this? This post was just my pov on the "canon jiang cheng" tag and the change I'd like to see. I can't force you to change how you use the tag but I can express my opinion about it.

Definition of canon: "Canon [is] the events presented in the media source that provide the universe, setting, and characters."

By calling the tag "canon jiang cheng" you're implying that a particular perspective is the "correct one" which is very audacious and completely untrue for everyone (both pro and anti any character). I don't mind that there's a tag to criticize Jiang Cheng and his actions. I honestly believe that having nuanced discussions for any character requires looking both at the good and bad sides. However, my issue comes with calling the tag "canon" in the context of fandom when there are much better tags to better portray what it's used for: jiang cheng critical, dark jiang cheng or even sandu shengshou considering it relates to the three poisons which are some of the flaws hinted at this tag. The quotes and evidence are fine but metas (which are also usually tagged "jiang cheng meta" so there is already a tag for those discussions) are personal interpretations of the text based on how you view the characters.

2. I can't force people to stop using the tag but I can express my opinion as someone within the fandom and request a possible change to make the experience better. For example, the bung0u str@y d0gs fandom has started to reduce how much we use the actual names of characters as they are irl authors names and use "bsd chvuya" or "bsd d@zai" to help people find the content they want. Does everyone do it? no. But there has been changes and it is possible. I don't think asking to change the word canon to something else is so outrageous. And as a side note, this post came because I saw like three posts in a row criticizing how new tumblr users from twitter have taken over the tag and thought maybe we can come up with a solution. clearly I was wrong.

3. The purpose of tags is to help navigate content as fandoms are usually very large. So having fandom specific tags are really helpful in that process and having well-named ones help not to be misleading re: my own experience with "canon jiang cheng" and other experiences in the comments. I'm sure you'll keep posting in the "canon jiang cheng" tag as you like but I don't think I'm wrong for expressing my opinion about it and seeing if people are willing to change.

The small note: where in my initial post did I ever state that jiang cheng is a hero/underdog? also since when is it completely wrong to sympathize with an antagonists experiences? for example I can completely sympathize with jgy and the discrimination he faces as the son of a prostitute but also criticize his consequential actions. one of the best things about mdzs is the lack of clear lines: wwx has very strong principles regarding human lives and doing what's right but he is very willing to override other's right to make their own choices, he overestimated his control and denied it until the last minute and hundreds of lives were lost and he's also capable of extreme levels of torture which I wasn't a fan of regardless of what the victim of it did. The Lans are depicted as paragons of righteousness and live very humble and disciplined lives but the background story with madam lan is very shady and they also didn't do anything about the Wen Remnents. And jc isn't an exception to these nuances. And sure you can shove him into the role of antagonist, but I'd like to believe the story goes beyond the clear cut lines of good and bad.

tl;dr - I don't care that you guys want to have a more critical perspective of jiang cheng, I'd just prefer don't call it "canon jiang cheng" when you're discussing your own interpretations (I can't make you do shit but I can request a change if I want).

See, I would believe that people who were originally on the "canon jiang cheng" tag were using it as a space to discuss his more morally ambiguous decisions except every other post on there was also tagged "anti jiang cheng". Also using canon in the tag is very bold especially when it's all individual interpretations of the character, which means it falls under fanon instead.

I would also have a more positive perspective if the tag was "jiang cheng critical" if the goal was to have engaging discussions but the audacity of tagging it "canon jiang cheng"....

So yea. So going forward, I propose:

Jiang cheng critical - if you wanna engage in discussion and debate

Canon jiang cheng - for gifs, quotes, fanart etc.

Jiang cheng - for people who enjoy the character and/or canon jiang cheng content

Anti-jiang cheng - for those who don't like the character and don't enjoy him (essentially please by sympathetic to people who actually enjoy the character and related content)

[wenellyb]

Uhm. About the Anthony stuff. I don't think people should make it a campaign or something. What bothered most folks had nothing to do with shipping, but with the way he talked about queerness. The "exploiting homosexuality" line or the going to a bar shit. So it's a him problem, and fans should know it is apologize for bad wording, which it is totally on him, or let it die.

Hi Anon,

This is a little bit complicated to explain so I hope I will find the right words... but if some parts are not clear let me know and I will try to explain it better.

I have to disagree with you about what annoyed most having nothing to do with shipping after seeing the response I saw on Twitter, and even headlines from other news outlets.

The "exploiitation" and "bar" part is what annoyed the rational people.... but you and I know that there aren't a lot of those on the Internet.

All over Twitter it was all about Anthony not liking Sambucky together or Anthony saying Sambucky are just friends, etc. Be honest with me here, did you see any headline or any tweet with more that 1k likes or even 500 likes with that story NOT mentionning Sambucky?

Because, I didn't....

So yes, even if it shouldn't have been, the shipping part IS what the general public and other journalists focused on.

I personally didn't care about the shipping but was very annoyed about what he said about the exploitation of homosexuality and the not being able to go to the bar with friends thing.

And if I hadn't known a little bit of Anthony's background I would have been right out pissed... but Anthony is one of the few Hollywood actors, who has admitted that he had been brought up in a comminity where homophobia was present and that he has been learning and growing and showing his support to the LGBT community... So I know he is an actor that will actually listen and adjust if you explain to him what was wrong with what he was saying, because he is already aware that he has still much to learn.

But let's be honest for a minute, if the story had been only about Anthony's comment about how guys can't even hang out anymore...the story wouldn't have blown to the proportions it would have now because let's be honest...70-80% of cis straight guys talk like that... How do I know it wouldn't have led to this level of scandal? Because otherwise the journalist would have let the story as is, and left the comments in the context of the question.... He wouldn't have switched parts to make it look like Anthony had been talking about Sambucky.

Do you think "Anthony thinks guys can't hang out in bars anymore" would have made him trending worldwide? No.

And probably more so because in the context of the actual question, it could be interpreted as him saying he was uncomfortable with people shipping him with real life friends ( Sebastian). Especially his comment about the exploitation of homosexuality... in the context of the real question... that comment wasn't as misplaced.

But no, the journalist linked those answers to Sambucky in the title AND in the article, even though Anthont had said no such thing about Sambucky...except "I don't follow fandom stuff".

And I have said it before, I say it again, because of the actions of that journalist, this goes beyond shipping for me.

I really wasn't involved when the story was about shipping or about Anthony "not liking the ship"... But after listening to the audio... I was seething.

You may not understand this, but personally, I do not have a lot of Black lead characters in big movie productions to look up to... Chadwick passed away last year and we all saw what happened with John Boyega, and a Cyborg movie isn't even in the pipeline anymore.

I'm not a stan or anything, but I feel very defensive when those kind of stuff happens, because Black celebrities are held to different standards which is unfair but also a reality we have to deal with.

I'm not happy with what Anthony said, but I'm even angrier after finding out that the only reason this story got blown out of proportion is because a journalist, who apparently has a story of being unfair to Black actors framed the story and headline to be provocative, even though it could have led to the harrasement of Anthony by Internet mob or even worse, potentially hurt his career. Thankfully Anthony isn't on social media much.

It is fine that you think it shouldn't be a campaign, and I don't think it should be a campaign either... But I do think there is something to be done.

And it is fine if you want to "let it go", I understand that. That's why I said that I wanted to know what "people who want to do something about it" could do....

People who don't want to do anything about it can just ignore it... it is fine.

You are free to let the story die if you want to, but that is not something I feel comfortable doing.

I don't think I would have tried something if the post from that journalist had 1k like or anything... but the likes very very low... so we can actually do something...

Maybe it won't change anything for Anthony... but at least that journalist will think twice before villainzing another actor with no grounds to stand on...

That man knows most people only read headlines and don't even read the article, and even less are those who will aftually listen to the audio...he did this on purpose and I'm seething thinking he could keep doing this in the future because it is working... there story is getting linked everywhere.

I don't want to let it die, because when the story is already too big... it's too late... You can't do anything...I feel like the moment when you can try to do something, as this is the beginning.

Maybe what I'm doing is useless but at least I am trying something and we never know without trying....

And some other users gave great ideas like writing emails to news outlets to let them know how misleading that article was...

It might be a long shot, but it would be an even longer shot not to try anything.

I hope I made it clear, but as I said let me know if I can clarify anything.

[adultingautistic]

Do you think is it an autistic thing not want to eat during what's likely a shutdown/meltdown? Even samefoods is hard to accept and I don't feel the energy to cook the stuff I love to cook. I just wanna stay in bed, but my head doesn't seem to be here. I don't have the energy to order food online too. Any tips in how to handle all this?

Ask date: September 12th

Do you think is it an autistic thing not want to eat during what's likely a shutdown/meltdown? YES!  Yes, absolutely!  

Even samefoods is hard to accept and I don't feel the energy to cook the stuff I love to cook. I just wanna stay in bed, but my head doesn't seem to be here. I don't have the energy to order food online too. Okay so now that you’ve described this further, this is not meltdown/shutdown, this is autistic burnout, which can absolutely happen after a meltdown/shutdown is over (though you don’t have to have a meltdown/shutdown in order to reach burnout).

So let me go through the difference between these terms, and then I’ll address your question about eating (because that’s a very important question).

I’m sure you’ve heard of the survival response called “fight-or-flight”.  This means that when an animal is in danger, their brain has to process the best way to react to that danger- to fight it, or to run from it. It’s not just humans who react this way, almost all animals experience this, that’s how basic of an instinct it is.

This simplified view is a little misleading, because there is a third option, which many animals also choose and I’m sure you’ve seen them do- freeze.

So it’s not really “fight-or-flight”, it’s “fight, flight, or freeze”.  And these are the 3 options that ANY brain, from a fish to a human, will go through when we are in danger.  This is instinct survival, it is instinct.

Now humans normally have much more complex thoughts than this.  We have evolved the ability to make many more decisions.  For example, if a thief broke into someone’s house, that person might try to reason with the thief instead.  Talk them out of it.  Or promise to not call the police if you just don’t hurt me.  We have incredible capacity for finding solutions and creative thinking.

But when a human brain reaches overload, that means our critical thinking part of our brain is unable to work.  Overload means exactly what it sounds like- your brain is too full, from trying to process sensory input and/or emotions that are too much, and it has no thinking power left for critical thoughts.  Overload can happen to any human brain- but the situation has to be VERY EXTREME for it to happen to allistics (such as war).  Autistics are different, in that we can reach overload in daily life, from daily activities.

So when a brain reaches this level of overload, it switches from “complex thinking human” into “simple animal instinct”.  This triggers the “fight, flight, or freeze” response.  If your brain selected fight or flight, this is a meltdown.  If your brain selected freeze, this is a shutdown.

So here’s an example of a meltdown, and what it looks like.  Warning for disturbing descriptions of a meltdown, and if you think the following italic section might be upsetting to you, don’t read it.

You’re sitting on your couch, watching TV. You’re wearing clothes that you like how they look, but they’re slightly uncomfortable. Your “overload” bar is at 10/100, everything is fine. Your mom walks into the room and starts talking. Your brain is now trying to listen to both the TV and your mom.  Your overload bar is at 30/100, you’re slightly frustrated but you’re getting by.  While your mom is talking, your dad starts cooking something and a Bad Smell comes out of the kitchen.  This sensory input of smell competes with the sensory input of the two sounds going into your brain, and your brain struggles to process them.  Your overload bar is now at 70/100, and you’re very stressed.  Your brain suddenly can’t process the uncomfortable clothes you’re wearing.  You realize just how itchy and horrible they really are and you need to get them off, but your mom won’t stop talking.  The smell won’t stop smelling.  The TV won’t stop noising.  Then your brother walks in the room and makes that Bad Sound he does when he clears his throat.  You are at 100/100, your brain can’t handle ANY of this anymore.  Your brain is DESPERATE to MAKE IT STOP, make any of it stop.  You start screaming for your mom to shut up and you rip your shirt off.  She reacts badly and tries to make you put it back on, touching you, which is another sensory input.  Your brain is ready to fight for survival.  You kick, scream, cry, and try to get away.  Fighting isn’t working so your brain switches to running.  You run into your room and slam the door.

You are safe.  The Bad Sensory Inputs have stopped, and you are able to think again. Your “overload bar” is down to 80. The meltdown is OVER.  It is over, because you can think again.  

So that is a meltdown.  So no, a person is not going to be eating during a meltdown- because they are in survival mode.  They are fighting or running.  Those are the only actions a person in a meltdown is able to do.  They are certainly not going to be able to eat, or cook, or make phone calls.

So what you described sounds like burnout, which can happen after a meltdown/shutdown is over.  Going through overload is exhausting,  it is absolutely draining, it depletes your energy probably for the rest of the day, and perhaps for many days.  After an overload, a person can exhibit the symptoms you described- such as being much too exhausted even to get out of bed.  Of course you are!  You are recovering!  Your body and mind have just gone through a horrific ordeal, and you need to recover, which means you need to rest.  

During burnout, an autistic brain is more suceptible to becoming overloaded again.  THings that you can normally handle are not handle-able right now.  You need to protect yourself, desperately, from any more sensory input- and guess what is a HUGE source of sensory input? Eating.  Eating involves all 5 senses at once.  It takes a LOT of brain processing power to handle eating, and if you’re in burnout from having just come out of overload, it makes total sense that your brain is not able to handle all the sensory inputs from eating.

So after that extremely long explanation, what’s my advice?  My advice is that during burnout, you need to protect your brain AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE from ANY bad sensory inputs.  Even things you can normally handle, do not force your brain to deal with it in this situation.  If you can’t get out of bed then stay in bed.  You need to rest.  You need to let your brain recover.

If this goes on for a long time, and you become very hungry, then eat whatever.  WHATEVER seems the easiest to eat.  I mean candy.  I mean chips.  Snacks.  I don’t care what it is.  It’s not important right now to force yourself to eat this or that- your brain can’t handle it, but your body needs energy, so eat WHATEVER.

Once you have truly recovered from the overload, and are able to get out of bed again, then you can do things like ordering real food, or eating samefoods.  But be gentle with your poor brain.  It has just gone through an experience that allistic brains only go through under extreme circumstances like war.  That’s how tired you are.  It’s okay to miss a meal if you don’t feel like it. If you’re hungry, eat whatever.

If you find yourself being in a burnout state repeatedly, over a long period of time, then you need to take steps to remove overload situations from your life.  You cannot live like this for a long period of time.  Autistic burnout is very serious and the symptoms mirror depression.  So if you find yourself in an autistic burnout state often, you must make changes to your life to reduce the chances of you becoming overloaded.

I know this was a really long post, but I felt this was a very important topic, and it was an extremely good question, so I wanted to give it the attention it deserved.

You are a beautiful, important person, and you deserve to be taken care of, so please be the person who takes care of you.  Be gentle and kind to yourself.  Protect your brain from the things that overload it, whatever they are, so that it can do its job.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd

2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..

3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore

4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)

5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...

6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead

7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------

(very long response ahead)

I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.

With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.

I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.

This is fucking stupid.

Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.

This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.

Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.

I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.

In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.

As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.

(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).

One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!

Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.

[araeph]

Conversation with prune-balled-blog

{NOTE: This is unedited, so please excuse spelling and grammar errors. With one exception--colons, which automatically bold anything in chat, have been replaced with [colon] where necessary to preserve the original formatting. Also, this is NOT an invitation to harass prune-balled-blog. Please do not @ him about this.}

prune-balled-blog: Sorry for the confusion. Should asked this. Do you know WHO talked with Aaron Ehasz?

Should have*

araeph: There are various tumblr and message board users who claimed to have talked to him. Some on the Kataang side[colon] http[colon]//araeph.tumblr.com/post/152660740000/web-archive

Some on the Zutara side[colon] http[colon]//araeph.tumblr.com/post/159119946362/kataraandzuko-terminaschosenone

But I don't know any of them by name.

prune-balled-blog: Thanks for the reply.

araeph: You're welcome. [smiley]

prune-balled-blog: It's all fake by the way. Aaron confirmed it on an Reddit AMA. The whole "Season 4/I had a different vision" thing was debunked.

Also, this for good measure.

[two screenshots inserted of reddit AMA]

araeph: Yes, I saw that post. However, what he said was the studio asked him to think up ideas for Season 4 and that he discussed them with Mike. So he did come up with ideas for it, even if they never went into production.

I also would call The Legend of Korra daring and beautiful. I just don't think it was any _good_.

prune-balled-blog: But those ideas were never outspoken.

It's all smoke and mirrors.

araeph: You mean, he never spoke to anyone else about Book 4? We don't know anything about who he did or didn't talk do between the period when Nick asked him to think up suggestions and the time when Bryke shut it down.

Of course, neither do we know that he said any of the things he allegedly said in those tumblr posts. [smiley]

prune-balled-blog: It's very easy to infer that he said absolutely nothing to anyone about anything.

He certainly would have gotten into more detail, but he didn't.

araeph: It's certainly possible. But nothing is certain.

prune-balled-blog: I mean, i would say the chances of Unicorns existing are pretty low.

araeph: How do you know he would "certainly" have gone into more detail?

prune-balled-blog: Because he seems to know of "Fake interviews", and i'm sure he would been able to go into further detail explaining that he didn't discuss any details of a possible Season 4 with some random. My point, is that had those claims been true, he would feel the need to address them further to clear further confusion. But his post implies the entire shebang was a ruse.

prune-balled-blog: There's no need to speculate any further. It was all a big hoax made by Zutara shippers putting Aaron on a pedestal to expand on their agenda. And people who didn't like Korra.

araeph: I think the opposite is true. If he'd said, "I never discussed it with anyone but Mike, and all the interviews from fans are fake," that would have been easy. He said there were some fake interviews out there, and that he did discuss it with Mike, and that's all we know.

Since it was suggested at the studio level, no it was not a hoax, and no one ever put Ehasz on a pedestal.

prune-balled-blog: I'm going to have to disagree with you there.

prune-balled-blog: And oh, yes they certainly do.

araeph: That's fine if you disagree.

prune-balled-blog: Look everywhere. People praise Ehasz as the sole reason why Avatar was good only because he was head writer.

prune-balled-blog: This whole thing reeked of angry fans methodically building a boogeyman because they were unhappy with how things went for their favorite show.

araeph: Actually, it's more of a process of elimination.

Before I saw Legend of Korra, I too thought Bryke were the be-all-end-all of Avatar.

Then LOK's writing let me down, and I started realizing there were people with power to influencing the writing of ATLA.

prune-balled-blog: You don't have to go through the motions. I know exactly your point of view.

araeph: Maybe it was Tim Hedrick or Joshua Hamilton? But they went on to make Voltron, and while that show was good for a while, it's headed off the rails now.

prune-balled-blog: Yeah but were we REALLY shocked when things didn't turn out perfect? Any show would have a stark difference in quality had an army of writers left a project.

araeph: Yes, it would.

prune-balled-blog: Assuming Korra would be just as good as Avatar, due to some naive 'understanding' that Bryke is the "end-all-be-all" is just silly.

araeph: Since almost everyone outside the fandom knows Bryke as /the/ creators of the show, and since they were the executive producers, it actually makes sense.

It just happened to be wrong.

prune-balled-blog: All you had to do was look at who was in charge, and marginalize your expectations accordingly.

prune-balled-blog: Actually, not entirely. It's dumb to assume two guys from Rhode Island (?) who had no prior experience running a show or writing a script, that they would churn out gold a second time without the 15 or so extra writers on board.

Not to mention a missing Head Writer.

What this fandom did to Bryke was shameful.

They kicked them in the dirt and spat on them for making something they wanted.

Aaron was a talented guy, and likely a massive contributor to what made Avatar a great piece.

prune-balled-blog: But what people did to demonize these poor guys was a complete and utter disgrace.

araeph: If you think fans (most of whom have no experience in television) should have known better than the studio heads who banked on EXACTLY the churning out gold a second time premise that we did, I don't know what to tell you.

araeph: Bryke aren't poor, and they're not victims.

prune-balled-blog: Would you forgive a thief for committing a crime because he didn't know stealing was wrong? This should be pretty obvious, no?

They certainly aren't villains.

araeph: Hahaha, so people who are ignorant of the details of television production are comparable to thieves?

prune-balled-blog: And if you think so, you're delusional.

araeph: Let me make this simple. Bryke accepted the credit for being the overall creators of the show.

prune-balled-blog: It was a hyperbolic example. Should have been obvious.

araeph: They got the accolades, so they get all the criticism for not living up to expectations.

araeph: Thievery is not an exaggeration of not delving into production details from a medium you're not an expert in.

prune-balled-blog: That's bizarrely unfair.

araeph: It's called "with great power comes great responsibility".

prune-balled-blog: I know. I saw Spider-Man.

And honestly, the people who spread this bull online should have listened to Uncle Ben.

araeph: How much power do a bunch of online fans really have, compared to successful showrunners who can snap their fingers and get a press release into the news?

prune-balled-blog: A lot, actually. For example, when Microsoft announced the Xbox One, they had a slew of controversial shit under their belt. After 2 days of nonstop harassment from fans, they reneged on that deal. And boom. Huuuuge change.

The internet is a powerful tool.

prune-balled-blog: Granted, that was a good change. Considering Microsoft went out of their way to enslave gamers wallets and playful freedom.

araeph: True. But for every example like that, Microsoft as a thousand other unpopular practices that they continue with no matter how many people complain.

araeph: I don't know of Bryke ever admitting to changing something about the way they took care of business, just because people complained.

prune-balled-blog: I would happen to agree with that. But the bottom line is that the internet is a tool.

prune-balled-blog: My main point is this. Pleading ignorance to how a show is made is not a serviceable answer for what fans have said/lied about with Bryke. That's all.

araeph: I disagree. When a show is marketed by creators like Bryke as a true successor to their previous work, and they make NO attempt to tamp down expectations themselves, they can't blame people who are not industry professionals for believing the hype that THEY and the studio they worked with spread far and wide.

araeph: And if your argument is, "Well you should have known better than to believe what they said," then you can't also make the argument of "poor Bryke" if the latter were intentionally misleading and exaggerating.

prune-balled-blog: What they said? No, i said you should have been able to infer you miiiight just be getting something a taaad bit different if you only saw they were returning, and no one else.

araeph: But this is exactly the problem. You're blaming fans for not reading between the lines, and not Bryke, who put out those very lines, despite the latter having vastly more power and experience at their disposal.

araeph: They, as showrunners, had a greater responsibility to inform fans of what LOK would really be like than the fans had to research and acquaint themselves with the intricacies of making television.

prune-balled-blog: Let me ask you something. Is it probably a fair/good idea to create a fake hoax that basically claimed Ehasz had been at odds with Bryke the entire production, claimed a Season 4 was supposed to be made, and that he had different plans for Korra had be been involved?

Bryke said Korra was going to be a sequel in the future, with a new Avatar. They were also the only confirmed writers. You can infer A LOT from that.

araeph: If any (or all of those interviews) are hoaxes, they should be condemned and the people who made them up should be criticized for it. I personally still believe there was some tension, but stating my opinion, even if it's based on speculation, isn't dishonest unless I pass it off as fact.

prune-balled-blog: That's fair enough.

araeph: As for what they said about Korra ...

http[colon]//comicsalliance.com/the-legend-of-korra-michael-dante-dimartino-bryan-konietzko-interview/

:I really love when Korra arrives in Republic City and sees Aang's statue for the first time. There's a moment where she's almost in a trance. She's in awe of Aang and also wants to become as great an Avatar as he was. The Legend of Korra is a little like that for us. We know we have a big legacy to live up to, but hopefully this series will be even better than the original."

[iturbide]

I still believe that Grima could get along with the Corrins because (putting aside the fact that they didn't raise their child themselves) they are dragons as well. Even more important : how would Grima react to discovering they were basically lied to their whole youth by all their family members, and that it puts them in a position where they don't really know who they are, even after Revelations ?

I think you’re oversimplifying both Grima’s relationships and the full issue at hand here. 

First, the fact that the Corrins are dragons has nothing to do with his ability to get along with them.  Remember: Naga’s a dragon and there are very few things Grima hates more than her.  So much of why he gets along with the dragons in general is because they’re either young and open to viewing him without prejudice (Fae, little Tiki, Myrrh, Nowi) or have suffered at the hands of humans themselves (the Corrins and Ninian – adult Tiki falls into this broadly and has also suffered at Naga’s hands, so he’s very sympathetic to her plight).  But there are humans who have gone through the same: Raigh (young, obsessed with dark magic, and lost virtually everyone he’d cared about when invaders burned down the orphanage where he’d been raised), the Robins (hunted by Grimleal, reviled by Ylisseans for being Plegian), Henry (dumped in an abusive orphanage where he lost most of his ability to even feel pain or express emotion), the Nohrian royal family (Concubine Wars combined with Garon’s abuse and neglect), Julia (lost her whole family – witnessed her twin brother murder her mother and then had to assist in her brother’s death)…there are a lot of Heroes that Grima can either sympathize or empathize with, and every day he’s learning more, making new connections, and becoming the Hero Kiran has always known he could be. 

Also, I never said that Grima and the Corrins couldn’t get along – in fact, prior to the Kanas’ arrivals they got along quite well (again, I have another ask, I just keep getting things in my inbox that will take less time to answer so I’ve been doing them first so I can devote my attention to the big headcanon dump once I’m in the clear).  I said they had a falling out – and nothing in the definition of that term requires that the relationship end.  Is Grima upset?  Yes.  Would he consider cutting all contact?  Probably, because when he gets angry his thinking gets rigid.  But lucky for him, there are other forces that help to rein him in and force him to re-evaluate things – namely Kiran and Robin. 

So as furious as he would have been in the moment (especially after finding F!Kana alone and in such distress), raging that the Kanas need better, need more, need to be kept away from the ones who did this to them, the tactician and the Summoner would have challenged him at every step.  Look how much the Kanas admire their parents.  Think of how distressed they’ll be if they can’t see them ever again.  You’d be making things worse for them rather than better if you cut off all contact (again, Robin would stress, because clearly they’ve been separated by their parents’ presence in Askr for quite some time).  And Grima doesn’t want to hurt them – that’s the last thing he wants to do.  So he softens, giving the Corrins every opportunity to step up and take responsibility and prove themselves capable of doing better.  And as they do that, their relationships can and will mend.  But it will take time and effort. 

And last, it’s not the fact that they didn’t raise the Kanas themselves.  If they had given the Kanas up to be adopted, seen them placed in loving homes, Grima would have had absolutely no problem with that – in fact, he would have empathized with the pain of that loss and respected the fact that they did it with the Kanas in mind.  His issue is the fact that they dropped their infants in the Deeprealms, said they’d visit, and then went back to war.  They left their children waiting and yearning for parental affection at an age where they needed it most.  The damage has clearly been done: F!Kana gets so distressed that she cries when she’s alone, and M!Kana is pushing himself to grow up well before his time for the sole purpose of winning his mother’s attention.  And it’s upsetting to see that. 

So now with all of that out of the way, let’s talk about the lying. 

Grima is no stranger to having people lie to him.  He’s spent the vast majority of his life being told half-truths or manipulated by pretty words and sob stories.  And he loathes it.  He finds it manipulative, selfish, even cruel, to knowingly mislead someone, especially if it’s for personal gain and at another’s expense, like what happened so often during his stint as the ‘divine’ watching over Plegia.  With that said, while he does take a dim view of how Hoshido handled the issue, ultimately he will admit that it was done with good intentions, to ensure that Corrin was protected and provided for.  Nohr he takes a harsher view on, considering that they kidnapped Corrin and effectively wiped their memories; however, he doesn’t lay that blame on the Nohrian heirs, just on Garon and those who controlled the situation.  The princes and princesses clearly did their best for the new sibling they adopted as one of their own, and he respects and frankly admires that they chose to take Corrin in without hesitation, making them an integral part of their family in spite of the fact that they were in truth a foreign prisoner.

Grima does not believe that anyone, human or dragon, is defined by their birth.  He feels that he, himself, is a product of humanity’s cruelty: his level 40 dialogue spells it out directly (”Humans are selfish.  And the ugliness of mankind has turned me repulsive.  It’s the world that wants me to be evil.”).  So to his mind, where Corrin was born and who their blood relations are isn’t important.  The family they choose, the friends they make, the life they decide to lead, are what define who they are.  And he would tell them as much when they express their confusion, citing the example of the tactician whose body is his vessel and whose soul accompanies him even still: if Robin’s identity were defined by his birthplace, his parentage, then he would be a zealous cultist like his father willingly giving up his body for the purpose of reviving the fell dragon.  But he wasn’t.  He chose instead to fight against his father by seeking peace for all he could, and defined the Ylissean Shepherds as his family – something they responded with in like kind, such that their children knew him as ‘Uncle Robin’ through their upbringings. 

So when they fret that they don’t know who they are because of all the lies they’ve been told, his response would be a question: who do you want to be?  

[professorfaber]

I'm interested to see what you have to say about my communism paragraph.

To point out the Healthcare Man, me personally? No, I have not been able to do that for years on end due to my age, however several people over the years have been pointing out the issues within Marvel media as well as general superhero media. Including Healthcare Man. I wasn't trying to seem like I was disagreeing. I think that part got deleted, apologies. (I had made note that the paragraph was no way intended to be directed at you, more as like an agreement and that the situation was kinda dumb.) As for the memes, yeah could definitely do without those, I'm tired of seeing them. (Also wow do I agree with the statement that Marvel are incompetent cowards. Oof Marvel, step up or clear out.)

The WandaVision thing, g o d s don't get me started on the bs they pulled. Consumer activism definitely doesn't work in this situation, I wish that situation was handled differently. For the centrist fearmongering, it could potentially have to due with the fact it's a common piece of media. I'm sure as you know, the more x is in the media, the more people seem to think x is ok. The memes would contribute by someone taking it lightly or not thinking it's a serious issue. Only mocking it to go with the crowd and not looking at the situation through a critical lens, barely even scratching the surface level on the issue.

As for the statement of "Marvel is problematic" I'd say in this day-in-age, it needs to be worded like that because it catches people's attention. Do I personally agree with it, no. But it's necessary to catch an audience so something can be done. As long as the person using that statement has an actual argument, I think it should be used. I see where you are coming from though. Also I hope I haven't come off aggressive or rude, if I didn't address your other points it's because I agree with them. I'd also like to apologize, my tone often comes off as argumentative when I just mean to have a conversation. I hope you are havin a good day.

Thank you for clarifying all of this! I think we agree on a lot more than I initially thought (and no, you haven't come off as rude, don't worry). And thank you for sending an ask instead of adding on to an already very long post. I hope you're having a good day too.

Okay, point by point (this might be pretty long, sorry, I'm like. allergic to brevity but I do try):

1. The communism paragraph. First of all, I'm allowed to make snide remarks about liberals on my own blog on tumblr dot com without it harming The Cause. My post was not directed at liberals, and very few people, if any, that I engage with on this website are liberals so I wasn't hugely concerned about watching my language. Normally I would agree with you that it's important to do outreach, but it's my personal blog and I make the rules. Also:

"liberal this, republican that", both side are are horrible in their own ways but we still need the people.

Okay so, this is tricky because sometimes when I say "liberal" I do mean it in the modern, especially American, sense of social liberalism that the Democratic Party (ostensibly) adheres to, and that was kind of what I meant in the original post, but Republicans are also liberals, just of a slightly different ideological strand. In America today both parties are primarily dominated by centrist and rightist factions, with the original American left (i.e. socialists, anarchists, trade unionists, social democrats) being essentially squeezed out of political discourse over the past century. It's less an instance of "both sides are horrible" than "one side is horrible, but it's being presented in two flavors".

Also, I never said I was a communist and I actually usually don't politically identify as such, but I can see why you'd make that assumption based on the kind of things I post.

2. I think I get where you're coming from on this better than I did at first and I'm sorry for being dismissive about the memes. It did not occur to me that casually shitting on a massive corporation's ridiculous propaganda could be an issue in that way. Like, to me it was less "people all of a sudden realizing that Marvel is bad" than it was just a continuation of people criticizing Marvel as before, but you've honestly made me reconsider and I'm sorry if those sorts of jokes are frustrating or annoying. They honestly seemed like completely innocuous leftist tumblr memes to me, in the vein of jokes about any other shitty company ("shitty company" is kind of redundant I think but you know what I mean). But yeah, you've convinced me. I'll stop reblogging them if that helps.

3. This was a bit confusing to me? I understand being personally upset by the memes, but the notion that they normalize and contribute to corporations using propaganda to nullify left-wing ideas is kind of odd. Companies like Marvel and its parent Disney make those sorts of characters and storylines because it is in their interests to do so, and it will continue to be for as long as capitalism exists. What I called "centrist fearmongering" is like, a function of their existence as capitalist entities with immense power to manipulate public opinion in their favor, and what you or I post on tumblr really does not have an effect on that.

Capital shapes public opinion, not the other way around. That's one of the big reasons consumer activism doesn't work.

4. I've gotta disagree with you here, honestly, though I should say upfront that I'm not like, super invested in whether people call Marvel problematic or not. My original post was just a rant, no one is obliged to listen to me, I don't care about this nearly that much.

However, if we are going to have that conversation, then I will say that while it is important to attract an audience, using patently misleading or reductive language is the wrong way to do it, even if you also have a solid argument. I might also note that the problem that needs addressing (the influence of the interests of capital on entertainment) isn't exclusive to Marvel, and pretending that it is just lets the problem fester. "Marvel is problematic" just... seems like a bad slogan honestly as far as critiquing capitalist media goes.

I think there are two separate problems here: Marvel media broadly containing harmful or clumsy messages, and Marvel media suppressing or distracting from left-wing ideas and resistance. The former will change when it becomes legitimately profitable for Marvel to become more sensitive to certain members of its audience (which will only result in more marginalized identities becoming emptily commodified, unfortunately). The latter is a more direct result of capitalism that is systemically unavoidable.

Lastly: as you said, if I didn't respond to one of your points or comments that probably means I agree with it or couldn't think of anything to add